The art of letting go

We are convinced that if we hold on to something, we get to control it. Detachment is unflatteringly associated with loss, therefore pain. We tend to falsely assume that once we let go of the control, of a relationship, of a dream, we lose it forever. When in fact it is quite the opposite.

Once you let go, you allow for the magic to unfold.

Have you ever got this paralysing feeling of that burning desire and its foreboding threat of not being fulfilled? 

Have you ever longed for something so much that the fear of actually not getting it left you exhausted? 

Has the attempt of clinging to it any tighter brought you gratification?

Attachment can be developed in many forms.

You can establish it by expecting someone to act a certain way, and when it fails to happen, you are left frustrated. You are conditioned by the behaviour of the external factor.

You can get attached to certain beliefs ingrained in your subconscious by unconsciously following your parents’ rules, society’s expectations or judgments based on fear stemmed from your childhood.

You can be fixed on one outcome of the situation and failing to perceive abundant options laid out in front of you, which do not correspond with your prior expectations. Nonetheless, those alternatives can guide you to explore the unknown territory, which can burgeon into the opportunity of unique magnificence.

You can have eyes only for one person to be involved in a romantic relationship with, all because of your assumptions about their character. This person can be extremely incompatible with your aspirations in life, yet you got so attached to building a life together that your energy is thwarted from moving ahead.

Eventually, the thing, the outcome, the person you allow yourself to be attached to, will become your downfall, whether in spoiling your day, causing you to feel negative emotions or acting out nervously. Attachment does not serve you. You can find comfort in it. You can derive temporary pleasure, but it will not bring you fulfilment and long-term happiness. Indeed, the root of all suffering is the attachment which we are responsible for.

Releasing attachment, letting go of the outcome presents you with a myriad of opportunities. It will make you calmer, mindful, happier and more magnetic. Attachment always creates resistance, whether in your creativity flow, love life, establishing meaningful relationships based on trust.

When you are attached to the outcome of a situation, person you are living with, money you are accumulating, you are actually building your identity upon the external, something breakable, something that can be easily taken away from you.

Once the trip is over, money taken away from you, what do you end up with? Your core beliefs. Your core feelings. Nothing has really changed inside, but the external world has been replaced, thus it is being implied as if you have no tools to rekindle that spark. You became too attached to the external factors to make you happy. When in fact, it is only you who can make yourself happy. Never the other person nor the luxurious holiday destination. That lasts a moment. The relationship with you and the outside world lasts forever.

Letting go is easy. Allow it to be easy because whatever you believe makes it true.

Do I advocate for not caring? Yes! Not caring does not mean being apathetic. It means not trying to control the situation or the outcome.

Not caring what others might think.

Not caring whether you get that specific job or another.

Not caring whether they like you, worship you or accept you.

You are not caring because you feel pretty damn well either way. Your happiness does not depend upon the behaviour of other people. Your perpetual delight is not dependent upon the outcome of that situation because you trust unshakably in the best timing and ability to stay well along the way despite the external conditions.

You care about the way you feel. You care about how you spend your energy by tending to your good-feeling thoughts. It is when you become wholly independent and authentic in your purest form.

Once you let go of the control, you are in full power radiating magnetic energy around so that everything you need comes to you. Any performance becomes simple and effortless as you find yourself anew by discovering new passions and new potential.

Intuitively answer this question: who is more attractive? The needy person, begging for attention, loud for approval or the chill-out person, aware of their worth, just being authentic, living a passionate life?

How to let go?

Contrary to popular belief, the action of letting go is not difficult. It is the choice we have to make, which seems daunting. Either you decide to cut yourself off or not. No analysing. No pros and cons.

Change is certain. Change is beneficial. Change is what makes us grow and evolve. Change helps us to see new perspective. Just as your body becomes unhealthy and less useful while being stagnant, the same applies to your mind once it is not flexible.

Do not get attached but appreciate everything and everyone while it lasts. Learn from it. Derive joy from it. But do not stay in one place or one position. Embrace changes and experiences as you go. Cherish them. Speak about them to those who are ready to listen.

Awareness is the key

First, you need to become aware of beliefs holding you back, your attachment style, as I would like to call it. Whether it is your ideal identity you became attached to, an expectation, a fixed way of doing things, and before any of that can be transformed, you need to acknowledge the presence and effect it has on you.

Why are you so attached to this particular thing/person/method? What emotion are you trying to cultivate? What is the meaning behind your attachment?

You believe you are attached to the situation, but in reality you are being addicted to the feeling it provides you with. Let’s say consuming a specific kind of food gives you a false sense of security. You are chasing a certain relationship because you believe it will make you feel lovable, thus you are chasing validation and security combined. You may be attached to your previous profession because of the sense of importance that position determined for you. Can’t you see how fleeting and destructive such thinking could be? It brings no real value to your present life.

In life everything is neutral except the meaning we grant it with.

Letting go does not imply suppressing your emotions. It means quite the opposite. It is allowing the feelings to surface because only then are you able to observe and let go. Acknowledge the loss. Acknowledge the feeling of missing somebody by also being aware of the love that has surrounded you and still lives within. Nothing external can control the way you feel unless you let them. Do not bury yourself under the emotion. Do not let it dominate you. You get to control how you feel every second by choosing what to focus upon.

Become aware of the pain and old habits which are holding you back. Become aware of your reality which you have created and which you can change as well. Become aware of your presence in this world as a gift. Minds like to trick us into believing that hard work only brings a payoff. Traumatic experiences can only be triumphed by thorough and dramatic therapy sessions. I have got news for you: you do not need to go through some crazy magical voodoo practices. All you need is awareness.

Do not judge yourself

You are not your past. There is no wrong or right. Who decides anyway? Let the memories, the past go. You did exactly what you could at that time with the exact tools you have been given. If you were unable to get through past experiences, you would not be presented with them in the first place. They have moulded you into the person you are today. People and experiences are your best teachers, the most precious gifts. Words do not teach, experiences do. Life is a magnificent self-learning journey; a learning playground.

Become immersed in gratitude, every single day.

By enumerating those aspects you get to be thankful for, it becomes natural to anchor yourself in the present moment. Due to this fact, you get to untangle your brain from distressing thoughts tying you to past experiences or worrisome future scenarios.

Appreciate what you already possess and have experienced. We tend to be thankful for what we already have, but it is even more important to be thankful for people we have met, events we have learnt and experiences that enriched us. Gratitude opens the door for more to come into our lives. Gratitude is the source of all magic.

Become emotions you wish to receive

Remember, it is always the emotion you are after, not the possession itself. It is a great gift to be aware of our attachment. When you really want something, it is because you believe you will feel better in the having of it. So ask yourself, why do you want it in the first place. What is the emotion you are seeking? What makes you reach out for it? Do you feel like something is missing? Those questions will lead you to beliefs you need to paraphrase, so they can match your dream.

Have a clear intention

Upon waking up, set your eyes on the emotion you wish to uphold throughout the day. If you do not know yet what you feel passionate about, start with the emotion. I bet it feels good to you having clarity of your day, feeling peaceful about any unfolding, deriving joy from drinking your morning coffee. That is it. Start with small things but focus on the emotions you are feeling. Your good thoughts, just like the domino effect, will take you further.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

Lao Tzu

Nature is simple. Rules of life are simple. Coming home, to your true self, is simple. Ego needs the champagne, ego needs fireworks. Your heart? It does not need splendour. The heart needs presence and awareness to eventually be willing to let go of that which no longer serves you.

In fact, you are never letting go, you are actually letting in a major blessing into your life. You are giving space for the right people, experiences to enter. When you let go you raise your vibrations.

Let go of control over your feelings. There is no need for you to stifle them.

Let go of trying to fix everybody.

Let go of trying to make the world the right place.

Nothing is broken. Nothing needs to be fixed. Not everyone needs to see the world through your lenses. Let everyone be.

Let go, so it can be completed, for not to be repeated.

Tell me how hard you work, and I will tell you how much you are worth.

Today’s culture appears to be driven by the need to define ourselves and our purpose of living through hard work. Sacrificing time with our families, time spent on our pleasures in the name of some imaginary pedestal described by society became a new trend. 

We have been raised in the world of monuments ranking suffering and discomfort as honor and glory.

An omnipresent misunderstanding seems to prevail; in order to prove our worth, we need to act in accordance with the expectations of our family members, peers, media and abstract standards set by society.

Tell me how hard you work, and I will tell you how much you are worth.

The first question we ask of a newly met person: what do you do for a living?

What if my answer is as follows: I am human. I am happy. I am me. I am free. My goal in life is to be happy.

Your occupation in life, the title which has been granted to you, can hardly tell me what kind of human being you are. Occupations stir up the growth of stereotypes. Our beliefs have been installed based on people we have already met, only to have it transferred to those we interact with later on.

Imagine the scenario: since you are satisfied and fulfilled with the ways your life is unfolding, would you feel the urge to criticize or blame anyone? Would you give in to the need of scrutinizing one another or judge them by their appearance, what clothes they wear, what cars they seem to drive around?

I bet you wouldn’t give a shit.

Now, answer yourself this question: how the person who criticizes, finds faults in others, lectures everyone must feel inside and through what values and lenses does this person perceive the world?

The level of happiness of another person is not your responsibility. 

How often do we put our contentment in the hands of somebody else? Once we become enslaved by the conditional behaviour of others, we are doomed. There is no way to control the other person’s behaviour in order to fit our needs.

Once you are aware of your worth, you do not feel the need to justify your existence, your choices or the value of your beliefs. You get to be free in following your own truth.

You will never be able to fully enjoy the taste of freedom until you let go of the need to please everyone. The top priority should always be you.

No one is responsible for how you are feeling right at this moment. You cannot burden anyone with the responsibility to make you happy. Only you can decide to be at peace despite external circumstances.

Your freedom lies as the basis of your happiness. 

Freedom cannot exist without happiness and the other way around. When you only allow for one person to dictate the way you feel about yourself and this world, your interests, you deprive yourself of the freedom, thus the ability to stay happy.

You are never able to help yourself as long as you feel worthless and unfulfilled. You must take care of your needs in the first place in order to bring light into the existence of others.

People who chase after success, fame and status are only chasing validation as they are unable to grant it themselves. They are in relentless pursuit of applause, external validation. It is like a never-ending reel. Do not be fooled that the pursuit of happiness is what brings you happiness.

When you remain in harmony with yourself, once you accept your interests and capabilities by feeling good about yourself for who you really are, you do not need acceptance and justification for actions and choices you make.

I truly believe that every situation, event, person we interact with, appears in our life because we invited them by our thoughts and beliefs. Every aspect of our reality is a mirror of ourselves and the essence of our energy. We can label hardships as lessons. All in all, the circumstances become our mirror.

It is only up to us how we approach each person we meet. Will we allow them to be dragged into the drama going on in their lives, or will we stay true to who we really are?

I realize that many people may not agree with the theory that we create events and occurrences in our lives. If they were to agree, it would imply taking full responsibility for their present reality and the mess they have already made. Would it suggest that we are unable to control our reality? Quite the opposite. You are never a problem. The paradigm by which we have been programmed to think can be at fault. Since we can mindfully change our beliefs, we can perfectly reshape our world by learning new patterns of thinking. 

Do not let yourself be discouraged by the story of somebody else. His or her perception is theirs only. They see the world through a specific set of lenses, the illusion which presents itself to them is conditioned by their beliefs only. Your story is unique. Your story is just as beautiful and important as theirs. Your story is yours only, and you are in control of how you tell the story by ideas you choose to believe in.

A happy journey always guarantees you the happy ending.

How to use uncertainty to your advantage?

It seems a pervasive approach to expect the unexpected, to refrain from making plans. Yet today, more than ever, one can stumble upon articles, self-help books emphasizing the importance of setting goals.

Our lives have evolved substantially, as one would like to say into more complexed times. However, I would like to use the term “diversified”.

The unknown stirs a vast array of emotions, from fear and panic to hope and excitement.

Uncertainty can cause us to feel more stressed indeed, but only if we let it.

It seems natural for the human mind to become impatient, to cross things out from the „to do” list as quickly as possible. The question remains: is it natural or have we programmed ourselves to follow the suit?

Jumping from one thing onto the next can be driven by anxiety. The mind programs us to believe that by accomplishing one more thing we can fence ourselves out from any disaster or unexpected turns of events.

Nothing can be further from the truth.

Sometimes productivity can be a disguise for escapism; an escape from coping with our emotions, fears and thoughts about the future.

You see…

The mind worships the familiar, the comfort. We become accustomed to the decisions we make based on the same assumptions and perspective. We live on autopilot. Everything which is unknown seems fearful, almost wrong. Everything outside our comfort zone seems illogical.

In fact…

We are not afraid of the unknown.

We are afraid to lose what we already know. Because throughout the time we have developed a bond with the familiar, we have built an attachment. We have constructed our identity upon the reality we have been living, based on the possessions, people we became accustomed to.

Once we are aware of the attachment, of our expectations towards it, we can begin changing those beliefs and become free.

I regard mindfulness as the cure to it all. A soothing solution to deeply hidden unprocessed emotions, past traumas which hold a firm grasp on our present state.

Whatever you believe, that is exactly what you will encounter in your physical experience.

Fear will always become what you make of it. It can be given paralyzing power. It may push you towards spontaneous acts.

Utilize the fear by giving it the meaning of motivation. Let it carry strength and power. Let it become the incentive to fulfil your dreams.

Embrace the fear with open arms. Emotions we feel, guide us. Fear is exactly that, just an emotion.

Look upon your past experiences. Isn’t that the case; with every fear arrives a triumph in the shape of satisfaction by overcoming anxiety? The victory disguised as a precious lesson. You can always come out as a winner by approaching every situation with a perception of a milestone, a step towards growth.

Mindfulness in times of heightened stress and uncertainty surely is bliss.

Can it be painful? Yes.

Can it be scary? Hopefully.

The uncomfortable is what makes us grow.

Plunging yourself into scary „what may happen” thoughts will not yield you any desirable effects. Giving in to worst-case scenarios will only elevate your stress levels, thus cloud your clear judgments.

When your future is questioned, your body becomes oversensitive and hardwired for survival.

It all boils down to how you wish to perceive the unfamiliar as everything in life will become whatever the meaning you ascribe to it.

For example: if you are convinced that every new situation brings new obstacles which you cannot handle (probably because of past events and traumas), then every new situation will be scary and uncomfortable.

However, if you choose to look upon new uncomfortable situations as milestones to greatness, a chance to discover new skills, new paths to develop your perception; those uncertain times can be madly thrilling and always bring new possibilities.

We have fallen into the trap of being driven by the mind when in fact we are in control of the mind and thoughts. We decide how to program it and to make the best use of it.

Once you program your mind to seek positive aspects in every circumstance, it will serve you. Getting a new job in a new city can be a scary endeavour to make new friends and learn new skills or an exciting chapter of your life journey. You decide which one suits you best.

We cannot change the external circumstances which may seem are befalling us. What we can alter is our reaction to every life occurrence.

If it makes you uncomfortable, that is probably your biggest opportunity. A chance to grow. A chance to learn.

Usually, things that bother you the most are the ones that bring you more satisfaction. It gives you a new perspective on life.

Putting it briefly: trust the unfamiliar. The unknown is where all the magic happens.

Jak osiągnąć szczęście?

Osiągnięcie stanu płynnego i nieustającego szczęścia może nastąpić tylko tu i teraz. Kluczem jest świadomość. Bycie w pełni oddanym chwili obecnej, emocjom, jakie generują nasze myśli. Samoświadomość.

Mam wrażenie, że błędnie pojmujemy koncept szczęścia i to, co pomoże nam je osiągnąć. 

Skąd zaczerpnęliśmy te przekonania?

Nie możemy obwiniać  za to siebie, ani nikogo innego. Postrzeganie to jest uwarunkowane doświadczeniami, obserwacjami, którymi nasiąknęliśmy od dzieciństwa. 

Zaobserwowaliśmy, że rodzice złoszczą się na nas, jeśli nie osiągniemy pewnych rezultatów. Inni nie chcą się z nami bawić, jeśli nie dostosowujemy się do ich zasad. Już od dziecka prześcigamy się  w lepszych zabawkach, droższych grach czy wyższych ocenach w szkole. 

Przyjęliśmy schemat: kiedy coś zdobędziemy, kogoś poznamy, będziemy spełniać określone warunki, wtedy właśnie będziemy szczęśliwi

Perspektywa ta jest niczym innym niż iluzją, która narzuca nam niekończący się pościg za czymś, co jest nieuchwytne, a przede wszystkim nieprawdziwe. To błędne koło przysłania umiejętność bycia obecnym tu i teraz. Skupiając się na odległym punkcie w przyszłości, zatracasz piękno, które mijasz właśnie po drodze, a którego już nigdy nie odzyskasz. 

Czy można zdefiniować szczęście?

Szczęście nie istnieje w formie przyszłej, nie może zostać osiągnięte w przyszłości, która jeszcze się nie wydarzyła. 

Szczęśliwym możesz być tylko w danej chwili. Doceniając teraźniejszość, mając to, co już posiadasz, ciesząc się z przemijającej chwili i dopuszczając myśl, że możesz to wszystko stracić. W skrócie: generujesz najlepsze z tego kim jesteś, czym się otaczasz, co masz pod ręką.

Bycie obecnym nie wymaga starania się o szczęście czy żadne ukojenie. Będąc obecnym, zdajesz sobie sprawę, że wszystko jest idealne. Odnajdujesz harmonię w niedoskonałości. Właśnie te mankamenty dnia codziennego sprawiają, że życie ci służy.

Ludzie świadomie dokonują wyboru, aby być nieobecnym, nieświadomym piękna chwili tylko po to, aby „być może” dostąpić zaszczytu krótkotrwałej satysfakcji posiadania więcej, czucia więcej, co prowadzi do odczucia niepohamowanego pragnienia pogoni i niedosytu. Nieustający kołowrotek.

Czy to brzmi logicznie? Odrzucamy poczucie szczęścia w danym momencie na poczet uczucia niedostatku i odczucia braku?

Nie chodzi mi o zupełnie pozbycie się pragnień, marzeń czy dóbr materialnych. Ale aby wszystko, co robisz, robić świadomie. 

Jeśli potrafisz zachować trzeźwość umysłu tu i teraz, skupić się na danej czynności, chwili z najbliższymi pełną świadomością, już wygrałeś, już ci się powiodło. Jeśli potrafisz rozkoszować się danym momentem bez wybiegania w przyszłość, ale będąc obecnym z pełnym zaufaniem, że wszystko, co najlepsze już jest w twoim zasięgu, jesteś człowiekiem sukcesu. 

Szczęście można zdefiniować jako stan, w którym człowiek mocniej niż zazwyczaj czuje, że żyje. 

Eckhart Tolle

Chodzi o to, aby być w pełni tym, kim jesteś, żyć pełnią życia, odczuwać spokój i zaufanie. Kiedy czujesz w sobie bezwarunkowe dobro (nie musisz być taki czy owaki, spełniać określonych warunków narzuconych przez innych), odczuwasz nieustanną obecność. 

Szczęście, a posiadanie.

Wszelkie negatywne emocje, zachowanie, ucieczki w krótkotrwałe uciechy fizyczne wywodzą się z uczucia lęku i niedostatku. 

Próbujemy zatuszować pustkę wewnątrz nas poprzez chwilowe ukojenie, ekstazę, dobra materialne. 

Żadna materia nie wypełni Twojej pustki duchowej. Możesz wyłącznie zrobić to sam.

Nie krytykuję posiadania rzeczy materialnych, ale namawiam do pełnego rozkoszowania się nimi, bycia naprawdę wdzięcznym za to czym się otaczasz.

Czas jest naszą największą przeszkodą w osiągnięciu spełnienia. Zatracamy się w przeszłości, rozpamiętując niepowodzenia lub nostalgicznie pragnąc wrócić do „tamtych czasów”. Snujemy marzenia na przyszłość, warunkując sobie szczęście w czasie kiedy nareszcie uda nam się gdzieś być, coś pozyskać lub czegoś się pozbyć. Sami zagradzamy sobie drogę do pełni życia.

Najprostsza radość.

Celem każdych poczynań jesteś ty sam. Celem każdej czynności, jest sama czynność w swojej najczystszej postaci, radość płynąca prosto z jej wykonywania. 

Już masz wszystko, co jest niezbędne do szczęścia.

Rozejrzyj się. Za co możesz być wdzięczny? Jak wiele już masz, a do czego inni nieustannie dążą? Świeże powietrze? Dach nad głową? Bieżącą wodę? Bliskich? Telefon, dzięki któremu możesz się kontaktować? Internet? Samochód? To są punkty wyjścia. Od tego zaczynamy. Codziennie skup się na pozytywnych aspektach w swoim życiu i tylko pozytywnych. Nie dopuszczaj do siebie negatywnych myśli, czarnych scenariuszy. Kontroluj swój umysł i to, co chce ci dyktować, bo umysł nie jest twoim sprzymierzeńcem. Owszem, jest narzędziem, bardzo sprytnym, ale nie jest on tobą. Nie utożsamiaj się ze swoim umysłem.  Wykorzystuj go, ale niech on nie wykorzystuje ciebie. 

Jeśli będziesz szukał na zewnątrz, będziesz szukał wiecznie, nigdy nie będziesz w pełni usatysfakcjonowany. 

A smooth sea never made a skilful warrior.

Give in to the flow of life. Let its waves sculpt you like water shapes the rock. Only then will you be able to truly know thyself. Only then will you discover your strengths.

Giving in does not equal abandoning all action and care of the world. Quite the opposite actually. Letting go of the control means trusting. And trust takes a lot of courage. 

We should not be afraid of any adversities in our life, because those adversities are what shape the individuality of our nature. They should not even be labelled as „obstacles” as any situation will only become the meaning we grant it with. Every challenge is here for us to grow, to expand.

I have personally struggled with life challenges. I swiftly avoided uncomfortable situations which, in fact, all along have been disguised as opportunities to grow, to get to know ourselves better. Finally, I came to the realization: every theme of our life will reoccur until we learn to accept it, familiarize with it and discover its true value. Until we cease to emit the same frequency of the „problem”, it will not disappear. 

Those grievous circumstances are here to serve us. The heartbreak will make you stronger and lead you to more valuable connections, especially the one with yourself. Squandering money will teach you to value abundance in other areas of your life. The solitude lets you dive deeper in the realm of your soul where your weaknesses are developed into strengths. Boring job will inspire you to follow your passion. Losing someone you cherish will reveal the power of love, longing for a family or independence. 

Do not fear. Trust. Perceive the world as you wish to see it. Look where you want to be. Let the ugly, the jealousy, the anger and the failure cease to exist by drawing attention away from it. We are in charge of our focus. Perceive with gratitude. 

The raging sea will always educate you how to sail, exposing the broader perspective, especially in the midst of massive chaos. For this disarray will deliver to you the clarity between that which you desire, and that which you do not wish to experience. 

The world is designed especially for your enjoyment. Every day is up to your perspective, how you perceive time, space and opportunities around you. 

Obstacles, notion of lack are illusion. There are only opportunities to grow. 

With every situation you can only gain. 

You win knowledge. You win experience. You win insight.

As we get older we pick up feelings of doubt, fear and worry, only because we let it. You are in control of how this world presents itself to you. Remain in the feeling of clarity, satisfaction and expecting the best.

Acquire new thinking, program your mind anew, fire up innovative combinations of neurons inside your brain. Download a new software. 

You get to have a choice.

You get to decide whether you choose happiness.

You get to decide whether you choose growth.

Every day you get to decide what kind of attitude you wish to adopt.

See beyond the illusion.

Everything which happens to us and around is our mirror. 

Whether it is the person you live with, your parent or a stranger in line in front of you, those people (and no exceptions) mirror to us some behaviour, patterns, deeply rooted beliefs which we consciously or unconsciously follow. 

Every life occurrence is here for us, either to teach us or to reveal the illusion in front of us. 

Once we start to perceive the world through lenses of „nothing is random” it becomes easier to navigate our magnificent life experience without placing yourself in the victim narrative. 

Situations are like movies which we can observe, participate in, consciously choosing our thoughts and feelings about them. Let’s choose to learn from the events of our lives. 

Look at patterns that are re-occurring in your life, your relationships, situations repeating themselves over and over again. What do they tell about you? How do you perceive the world? Do you trust in the good nature of people? Do they cheat? Do they hurt you? Are you satisfied with your workplace? 

Life always reflects back to you. Nature will always reflect back to you. People will always be your most precious teachers. Acknowledge your beliefs about this world and work around them. 

Your core beliefs about yourself will always extract certain behaviours from others. Your core beliefs will mirror back situations you find yourself in. The external world is only the illusion in which we participate. The external reveals core insecurities or fear that we held within ourselves. 

Life is for us to help us heal. 

So acknowledge that you are responsible for everything you are experiencing. Every creation. 

It can be uncomfortable to take full responsibility for our beliefs, choices, thoughts and behaviours. But it can also be quite freeing and satisfying knowing that we are here living life on our own terms or should I say, deeply rooted beliefs. 

What we hold within, projects to us the reality we experience. So, in order to change the surrounding, one needs to change the core of its being, the assumptions about life, the emotions inside us, the perspective we hold within of the world outside. 

Learn to see beyond the illusion. 

Create from the place of personal power. 

Until you change your core beliefs, until you change your inner world, nothing outside will shift. You will experience the same events over and over again. 

First of all, decide what reality you want to create. Do not dwell if it is possible, how will you achieve this, what must happen in order for you to go from place A to place B. That is not your concern.

Second of all, acknowledge what patterns life plays for you on repeat. Fix that bug. Take responsibility for your emotions. Do not run away from them. Immerse in it. See them. Shed a light. Recognize how you feel about important aspects of your life.

Next, change what you believe about love, money, health, family life. Paint the picture you want to present. Feel new emotions. Become love. Fall in love with your life before anyone falls in love with you. Feel the freedom before wealth manifests itself to you because no one needs money in order to announce themselves as a free human being. Wake up refreshed and grateful for your health and energetic body, ability to perform various physical tasks. 

Once you change the internal perception of every detail of your world around you, the external will follow suit. That is the Law.

Stop hating the ego.

Ego is claimed to be the number one enemy of the self-help craze. It came to be associated with a nasty voice in our head which needs to be destroyed, suppressed, totally eradicated. 

You don’t get rid of the ego or the mind. Those are your instruments, just like this body to experience this physical realm. 

Ego is never the issue, your perception of the ego gets in your way.

Since the ego is an intrinsic part of ourselves it seems quite adequate to accept all parts of whom we came to be. 

I have learnt that the best practice in order to experience peace and harmony is acceptance. 

Stop hating the ego and perceiving the mind as the culprit. They are here to serve you. Use them well, use them mindfully. Embrace them

Once you question your beliefs, the mind and the ego go quiet. And once you make the space, you have more capacity to ask powerful questions and receive powerful answers. 

Ego is an intrinsic part of ourselves, every human being. By demonizing the ego, we condemn parts of ourselves. We reject the natural process of being human.

What would you like the fertilizer to be? Hatred, shame or love and acceptance? 

What would you like to be driven by? Your unconscious ego or the power of love? Your monkey thoughts or joy and laughter? 

What you cultivate within yourself that you will also experience in your life. 

You are in control of your reality by guiding your thoughts towards the desired direction. 

Yes, you are human. You are driven by emotions, desires. You are perfect in just being you.

Stop demonizing the ego. Stop condemning parts of yourself. Acknowledge what is driving you at this very moment, so perhaps you can take control of the steering wheel? Examine your thoughts, bring yourself to this present moment. 

The crucial part is to be aware of your emotions (fears, hopes) not pushing them away, burying them underneath. They are not going to just disappear but will come back stronger. Once you see, once you acknowledge, once you honour the state that you are in, you get to understand and only then change it as you please. Or better perhaps to not trying to change anything. I know we have been raised in a culture where we are supposed to act, change the situation as it arises. But what about if we just accept? Just let it be? Sit with it, in it. Emerge in those emotions without trying to control or change anything. 

Guess what happens? 

The ego, the mind is dumbstruck. 

Those parts of ourselves are so used to our control that they are helpless once we acknowledge them. They have no next place to go, no place to hide, they just are. They are no longer in control because we honour them, we accept them so they no longer need to control us, just coexist, not as enemies, but as equals. 

Do not chase. Attract.

I have come to a place in my life, where I no longer feel the need to chase after happiness or rush anything, so I can finally be happy.

Because, damn, I am happy.

I no longer force others to accept me, love me, because I am loved. I love and accept myself. I no longer hold grudges or regret not doing things differently. I recognize the past as an inevitable route to the state of bliss and gratitude I am in. I enjoy and relish in the process of becoming. It wouldn’t be any other way. 

Anchored in gratitude.

Receiving is paying attention to what you already have, staying grateful is the ultimate state of reception.

How come we tend to apply the opposite approach? When did we loose ourself in the never-ending pursuit of more?

Once you go for something you don’t have, you are chasing it.

Chasing brings resistance into our life. When you are pursuing you are also introducing pressure, and quantum physics states that if two atoms are pressed together, they cannot coexist with one another. They are being pulled apart.

What is the remedy?

The key is to let go.

The degree to which you let go is the degree to which you receive. 

Chasing is always connected with a desire for something we do not have. Think about the message you are sending out to the Universe: I am lacking that, which I think about frantically.

Desire stems from the place of lack.

Lack is born out of fear. Lack is an illusion. You cannot create from the place of lack. Otherwise, you can only multiply more of it. 

Once you conjure up a vision inside your mind of how things should play out, you willingly create bondage between the action (your intention) and the outcome. You identify yourself with it. Eventually, you lose yourself within it as you are not present in the moment but living solely in the vision of your imaginary future.

Chasing creates more resistance. Chasing creates pressure. Chasing the specific outcome clouds any possibilities which may be available to you all around as you focus only towards one goal. As a result, the Universe is unable to present you with any other pathways as you do not allow for the flexibility of events to unfold.

What is more, chasing means building the foundation for your happiness on the external outcomes, and you cannot change anything within yourself while relying on the external. If you are not truly satisfied with the current situation, not any external condition will change that in the longer run. It is your perception that may change your state of being, therefore your point of attraction.

Let go of what people think.

Let go of labels.

Let go of what should be.

Let go of the idea of how everyone should behave.

Give yourself and others the freedom to coexist. When you release all the control, you allow the magic to enter your life. 

Be independent on your road to your true self.

What does it mean to be independent?

To live on your own?

To own your apartment?

To run your own business?

Having lots of money on your bank account?

How about taking care of your own energy?

What most people tend to do is relying on somebody else to make them feel better, to feel more lovable. We want the other person to make us happy, that is why we want to fall in love so badly because then our life will get so much better.

Indeed, once you are in love, especially during early stages, the world seems brighter, colours are so vivid, food tastes better, actually we don’t even need food. It is frankly intoxicating to fall in love. You feel like the other person is bringing the best in you. 

Actually, when you are putting your happiness in the hands of somebody else, you are setting yourself up for a failure as you are relying on somebody else’s behaviour to control your mood.

What about the situation when the person is not acting according to your expectations?

Are you doomed to a miserable day? 

What if the person walks away?

Are you bound to be heartbroken and devastated until you find somebody else?

This scenario does not strike me as being independent on your own. It portrays an example of an extremely unhealthy codependence.

Do not get me wrong, I am all in for falling in love, entering new relationships because they make you find yourself. New bonds and experiences make you expand and learn. 

For me, one of the biggest revelations of this year so far has been the belief that I do not have to enter any relationship to last. I can begin a partnership because I wish to commit myself to the other person for as long as we are compatible, not till death do as part, not to sustain one’s energy at the expense of one another. 

I am also not encouraging moving on to the next relationships as soon as possible.

I am advocating independence

Do not place yourself in a vulnerable position so that anyone and anything can bring you down. 

Every event of your day, every meeting can be a precious avenue to your connection with yourself, with your passion, your inspiration in life. The key is to mark it as one. You decide how you want to look at things; from the perspective of a victim and a needy person or from a perspective of a bold treasure seeker who is always finding an expansion in life. 

Find yourself various avenues to make yourself feel good, not just one person or one ritual to boost up your mood. Most importantly find comfort in your thoughts. What I mean by this: shape your beliefs to match the reality you want. 

Create your own mood every day despite anyone’s bad temper. You have the potential to choose your thoughts and what you focus upon. You are in a position to wield your own power, do not switch it off or give it away to somebody else or any substance addiction for that matter.

Quit relying on somebody else to make you happy, bring you roses, come up with an idea for your business. Co-exist instead of being co-dependent. You already have all the tools necessary for you to thrive and surely you do not need another human being to make you whole, sparkly and complete. 

Because when it is good, you live in a fairytale, right? And when things are not going your way, you are just going to give up? Where is the independence in that? It is not likely that the other person is going to be constantly happy and in the mood to cheer you up. Wake up! They have their own things going on. 

It is soothing and pleasant to be on the same wavelength, but it is surely more challenging and exciting to learn from one another, to be inspired, to fall in love with life every single day and to be your own sunshine of the day despite what might be going on outside that very moment. 

Make the ordinary come alive.

Are you craving this epic lifestyle promoted on social media? Are you craving living someone else’s dream?

I know that it may seem as if it is difficult to be yourself nowadays. 

Living in a society that is constantly bombarding you with their expectations of how you should behave, how social you should become, where you should live.

Has this chasing-after-culture stripped our life of joy and simplicity? Why are we ashamed of being ourselves, orchestrating our life the way we feel like living?

You may mark your life as uneventful and ordinary but first, it is only your way of seeing it and second, there is absolutely nothing shameful in being ordinary.

Depicting something simple as extraordinary and precious to you is a wonder and a great capacity of a human being. 

I want to tell you that it is perfectly alright for you to be where you want to be.

If you feel like spending time alone, you are more than welcome to do so.

If you feel like moving to a bigger city, pursuing your dream while leaving some people behind, you are in perfect alignment to fulfil your desire.

Live life on your own terms because the truth is: there is no definite and appropriate way of living.

No one should be social enough to make friends on purpose just to fit in.

No one is obligated to live in seclusion unless they wish to. Sometimes living alone, even for a while, is what we need the most to mute the crowd, the buzz in order to hear the whisper of our hearts. 

Do you. When you put up with something that feels uncomfortable to you, you sacrifice the most important relationship, the one with yourself.

You are here to fulfil your Soul’s purpose without comparing yourself to others, without analyzing, without living in hurt or pain. You are here to live your Soul’s guidance, to make an impact, to represent the love, not to live in fear

Your only obligation on this earth is to follow the path which feels good to you. In accomplishing that you are not only going for the prize as the destination itself. First and foremost, you are gaining knowledge and experience along the way.

Yes, some of us need other people to feel the energy going viral through our bodies. Others need nature to feel complete. Yet, others want to find themselves on their own.

Questions we are bombarding ourselves with:

Yes, there are times when social media can influence your perception or evaluation of your life. You start questioning your way of living: am I living life to the fullest? Am I taking advantage of all that is being presented to me? Asking questions is normal. Having doubts is normal. The key to sanity is to find yourself in those questions and doubts, find your place among them for you value lies in being true to yourself

There is no right path, no universal way for everyone to connect with their core being. One can be suppressing their passion, talking himself out of going after the dream of travelling the world on his own, while the other may feel perfectly content with his life in a small town, surrounded by people they are familiar with while visiting their local bakery. 

Questions you should be contemplating:

How about living life for your own pleasure? How about not sharing what you are doing all day long with anyone? What would be the most appealing way of living to you? 

What is wrong with ordinary life? What is undesirable in finding marvels at small mundane things? How come that quiet life seems to be so criticized and laughed at? 

It is up to you what you choose an interesting life to be. 

So I ask you not to beat up on yourself if you are having doubts. I ask you not to let any negative comments from your family or media you are exposed to mess up with your clear intentions and desires. Only you can know exactly what you need at the moment, and only you truly know how to cater for yourself.

Stop chasing your future while you forget to nurture what is in front of you only to later blame yourself for not fully embracing the carpe diem. Find beauty in everything that surrounds you. There is nothing wrong with fast-paced life just as there is no shame in the slow way of living. I marvel at both worlds. Make a choice. Make a statement and do not feel guilty about it. 

Follow your heart’s desires amidst the surrounding chaos. No one is more important than your authentic self. This is your biggest power. 

Freedom cannot be granted to you by somebody else or by any external entity. 

Freedom is a decision only you can make to participate in. You have the choice to either perceive it and live it or not. It is that simple. 

Decide today: I am free.